I've got the balls.

Well, I doubt that. There are people who would opt to back down right now. But. Me, I'm not that kind of a person. I will not let it get to me.

WATCH ME! In this few months, I will prove them all wrong.

Darr, don't give up.

It's not even an option.

x

I am dead.

(click on the picture for a better view)

DID YOU SEE THAT?

Yes, in less than a month, I'll be sitting for my Cambridge A-levels exam! Oh my god! :( Am i prepared? I don't think so. *scream*

Oh, darshika, shut up and go study already!

I'm in love with my wall. LOL.

It's not giving up.

Why does this heart of mine make such a fuss?
Neither here, Nor there, it only walks towards you.

Well, yeah, it is hard for me to just erase a memory which I cherished.
If only a delete button existed in my brains ey? Yeah, dream on!
I hate the fact that it is now officially a Past Tense.
I had a friend. An awesome one. Really. But good things have to come an end.
Maybe that's just how it is :(
I guess good things have to fall so that better things-I HOPE will happen.
I just want you to know, you have been an inspiring friend to me,
I bet you didn't know how much you meant to me. (well, now you do)
We got it just like that, TOO FAST maybe. Apparently, it ended TOO FAST, too.
I wish things didn't have to end like this.
I want you to know that all I want now is the best for you.
The last thing I want to do is to curse you and wish you had awful life.
You are, yes, LUCKY, that I am not like that :)
I don't want to accept the fact that I just lost a friend. Call me stubborn.
But, that's just not how it is supposed to be. I am not asking for more.

Just, friends again? Please?

I will move on, I know I can. I need a life, come on, what more can I ask?
I wish the best for the both of us, in our separate ways :)

I just wish you knew ♥

I fcking hate.

Fcuk My Life.

Never say I love you
If you don't really care

Never talk of feelings
If they aren't really there

Never hold my hand
If you mean to break my heart

Never say forever
If you ever plan to part

Never look into my eyes
If you are telling me a lie

Never say hello
If you think you'll say goodbye

Never say that I'm THE one
If you dream of more than me

Never lock up my heart
If you don't have the key!

From a broken-heart.

Why do such friends exist?

Here we go again, as a TRADITION,
it is most likely for me to apologise first,
and as usual, it's for abandoning my darling blog.

There's this thing which annoys me terrrrrrribly.
When you give an advice to a person,
ofcourse you want that person to follow it right?
Especially when u took all your time out,
JUST TO THINK for that person. Right?
And it is worst if it was for a FRIEND, right?

I cared so much for this friend.
I told her everything I could.
Not wanting her to go the wrong way.
Hey, look! I'm being blamed sometimes for your condition.
What am i? A puppet. OH GOSH! -.-
Fineeeeeee, i ignore those tiny problems you give me...
BUT, can you like consider the advices i give?
Those silent treatment that i gave you for the past few weeks,
were supposed to wake you up, apparently IT DIDN'T?
Guess what? I don't give a damn anymoreeeee!
I tried to help, but now I won't. WAKEUP, girl!
I know i'm bad for being like this, but i tried.

P/s Do Not Call Me A Bad Friend :(

Next, this is special.
Ohhhhh, Yes it is.
I HATE COPYCAAAAAAAAAAAATS!
GAAAH :X

Define guilty.

Guilty :
having commited a crime
or an offence or done wrong.

That ɹǝʞɔɟ suddenly said hey to me at fb,
apparently, that ɹǝʞɔɟ called me sombong!
Damn, was i what the ʞɔnɟ-ed about it.

First, you pretend like everything's alright when they're not.
Then, you leave horrible memories for me to suffer with!
and now, calling me sombong? Excuse me,
why don't you look at the mirror and be amazed!
you'll be looking at the world's number one JERK!
aint that awesomazing? i know it is :)


U know, it takes you less than 5 seconds to say sorry,
is it that hard? is it harmful? Gahhhh,
Some people just don't understand the meaning of being guilty!
Ohhhh, you better be proud, because eventually,
i'm talking about you! this post is oh-so 'special' for you!
Go on, take a bow! how about a standing ovation? :O
Be gone, be gone, be gone! tak tahu malu! philanderer!

Sometimes, i really wish that this kind of people,
although cute in every way, never existed! :((

It's the end.

Was so excited to online,
wanted to chat with Viknesh, rindu doh.
But when i opened fb,
all my hopes went away.
JUST LIKE THAT,
and i repeat,
JUST LIKE THAT!

Sometimes, it's hard to get what u want.
it's also sometimes never possible to reach close to it.
But i have to be strong :) i know i can.
the feeling of being played,
is f***ing horrrrrible, u heard me.
* tears at eyes, fyi *
Okay , listen , it's really horrible .

u know wht ?
im not gonna talk about it .
Bye , im sry readers !

Shall be better in time .
I need you now,
Eunice !
Michelle !
Bowie !
Maggie !
Ennie !
Yuss !
Viknesh ! (thanks for making me smile)
Era & Rajes , the most ! :((
Syera :D
ohhh, i need u guys! PLEASE!

OHHHHH. ♥

today was a fairytale-NOT! :P :P

Well, it was lah, but some people buat kecoh -___-

Had Addmaths at Martin today :)

some of the most unexpected things happened.

He sat with me :D :D

While waiting for class to begin,

Harri Gari suddenly asked me to lend him my phone,

obviously, i refused, PRIVACY weh.

Reluctantly, he asked for my pencil case instead.

i didn't want to lend him that either,

because i had no idea why he wanted it.

But he was DESPERATE, so he asked,

Phone or Pencil Case?

I was like, ohkayy, handing him my precious pencil case ♥

I REGRETTED!

idk what Harri and Rafiq was doing with it, suddenly,

The badge on my pencil case came off,

The pin of the badge bent,

The teddy bear keychain came off,

The hook broke ):

* see picture *

Anyways, pengecoh-pengecoh yg aku SAYANG,

next time, be nice to my things, PLEASE!

So, when class started..

i knew it wasn't gonna be alright.

Ever since Umaas knew my name,

he started making it a habit to bully me.

So since i was sitting with him,

he thought we're err, together!? WhatTheHell :\

so he gave us those so called wicked smile,

Gahhhhhhhhhhhhh :S UMAASSSSSSSS!

Though, I liked today, quite a lot.

That one hour 15 minutes with you,

was awesomazing. I really wish hard,

That we could be together :) ♥

Sad right? i know.

when you least expect it..

Apologies for the late update, AGAIN.
I gotta admit, many things happened,
AND I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.
they're stuck in my mind, for too loooong!
and i mean it, I cant stand it anymore.


22nd March 2o1o.
I always thought if you wanted something
so much, just be optimist and believe that
that's the thing you really want,
you will eventually get it.
But why didn't that happen to me?
It has always been my dream to become the school player,
for the sport i love most, basketball.
a dream i always worked hard for.
but i just didn't achieve it.


I guess things do happen when you least expect it.
and sadly, the consequences are,
unacceptable..
unpredictable..
and worstly, unforgettable..
it wouldn't be that hard to forget if those harsh
words didn't come out from my basketball coach's mouth.
How could one be so evil? so heartless? so inhuman?
why should such people exist?
i don't wanna hate someone so much,
but the scar is still in me. it's horrible.

Actually, according to date,
it's obvious that this thing happened quite looong ago.
but, honestly, whenever i step foot on the basketball court,
these awful thoughts come rushing to me, and haunts me.
i want to scream, because i couldnt stand it. ):
I miss the game, i miss the passion, i miss the fun.



still trying my best to chill.

what the IKAN - -

i hated today, ohkay?
AHHHHHHHHHHH ~
i wanna scream, seriously.
that's the only help i want.

started off the day quite well,
as said, had to give a speech about
the school rules during assembly,
i spoke with guts,
i sopke with pride,
i spoke with confidence,
But, i spoke too fast? Hahh! :)

Anyways, moving on,
i had my basketball training today,
and, two words, it sucked.
first of all, i admit lah i couldnt understand
the concept that the coach was teaching us.
but i did tell out, i was like,
I AM BLUR! I AM BLUR!
but what the heck, i had to Stayyy Blurrr.
As a result, the coach caught all my mistakes - -
Obviously, it was because my mistakes were too obvious!
Helloooo, like i said, I WAS BLUR! ): ):
And then, when the training was over,
the coach lectured us, as usual :S
but this time, damn, i wanted to cry!
cant remember the exact words he said, but,
One, im not officially in the school basketball team, yet.
Two, im afraid i wont be chosen ):
Three, if im not chosen, not only did i waste my time on
these trainings, but i also abandoned my Rumah Sukan
for NOTHING! and i mean NOTHING! T.T
Four, i've build up my muscles for the worst!
( some of u may not understand )

My wish ,
- i will be in the school basketball team 2o1o.
- Sprenger, my rumah sukan will be champion for 2o1o.

):

specially for,

for the someone,
who asked me that question.
u know who you are..

Well, honestly,
yeah, u changed.
i cant seem to know how,
but im sure, u changed.
positively, sure!

be yourself,
the normal you.
u know i love you.
u're the one who's always
by my side, when i need you.
yeah, you! so please don't change.
i cant afford to hate you :(

curious, to know.

BFF ? :)

Hell yeah, im flattered.

who wouldn't?

that, was what i wanted.

and you know so.

But, i dont think that's

how i'm treated by you. Right?

Tell me, what's on your mind D:

though, sometimes, i wonder,

why do i care? o.O

apologies?

Hello world !
i know, lama tak update, i know ;P
been busy lah, what to do? just kidding.
been LAZY ohkay. sounds better right? hahh!

Soooo, well,
had a really chaotic week lah.
ups and downs , as usual .
i think i'm starting to have some issues with,
Myself ): ):
Why? First, i think i've become hot-tempered..
make that SIZZLING-hot-tempered.
and, i think i tend to get really, really frust..
really, really FAST! and over small things. Why~o~why?

hmmm, shall talk about my exam results.
well, i hate the fact that i scored HALF the marks
of my Maths paper for my Add Maths paper. What the hell lah.
Why? they're both numbers.. right? Lol (:
Must work harder ady lah, no playplay.
Easier said than done.
Distractions. Distractions. Distractions.
there's the 'makes-me-forget-to-study' songs..
then there's the non-stop-multiplying homweork,
and tuition, and events at school.
speaking of events, MONDAY!
have to read the school rules during assembly.
Ohhh crap, sometimes, it sucks being class monitor ):
ohh ya, speaking of class monitor,
am gonna get my tag on MONDAY, too.
Aiyohh, that means, on stage twice? Eakkk :S
Wish me luck ohkay. Lol!

i have to admit, this year's co-curricular meetings
Suckeddd lah. suddenly everything's like
so, unfair. and i mean seriously, it's like
everyone boycott to do that to me!?
The same stupid excuse, everywhere i go.
but, u know what? whatever lah,
the thought of it kills me, so yeah!
Whatt? Nothing..... *winks*

recently, i've been having this stupid feeling,
of being left out. but sometimes, i know,
it's me, the one who doesn't want to go near.
Well, i have my reasons.

Mood for the week : Bad. don't ask why.

just some talkings.

didn't update my blog for a few days.
one word, LAZY. hahaha. [:
Anyways, there's only DAYS left until
school reopens, and that's like, fast,
seriously am scared okay. the word SPM freaks me out,
and apparently, finally getting to play basketball again
doesnt fascinate me in any way. I AM SCARED.

no more seniors, gonna be the seniors.
no more 4intan, gonna be 5intan.
no more not-walking-up-the-stairs-to-class,
gonna walk THREE STOREYS high of staircase to class.
And, no more so called honeymoon year. Hellooooo, SPM!
(freaking out) AHHHH, can u hear me scream? Lol. *being sarcastic*

Anyways, i really don't know how will the
first day of school turn out, i'm really scared.
gawdd, i seriously miss ky lah D:
okay, am gonna be freaking honest about this,
how is it possible for a person to walk
into sch on the first day and not see her
best fren there? Ohhhh goshhhh. T.T
this has gotta be the worst thought of my life.
and eventually becoming the worst DAY ): ):
i need a hug, right now!

i ran out of words to say ady.




so lost.

): ):

ironically random post.

i just don't get it.
u hid the laptop from me,
u banned me from text messaging,
u dislike when i go to the cinemas too often.
But, hey! everyone knows, it's now,
holidays. give me a break lah.
in case you didn't know,
I've not spoken to her for almost
a week now, and i know I'm suffering.
she's my best friend lah yet i'm not talking to her.
i understand that I've been over-reacting,
but helloooo, i miss my best friend lah. ):

im sorry on my part..
but please, quit accusing D:

fantasy or nightmare?

first of all, i'm really, really fascinated by
the possibilities of knowing people far far away from fb.
somehow distanced friends are sooo nice.
But , i seriously didn't think that i'll end up
in such a big chaos, or should i say NIGHTMARE?

Not long ago, this nice human added me on fb.
yeahh, i made a mistake by giving too much details.
people say im stupid, but why do i ignore them?
am i just too stubborn to care? or was i defending you?
three words, i don't know lah. *sigh*
Getting to know this particular human was,
as i would like to say, a fantasy.
because i felt so comfortable around you.

but the nightmare began when i got to know her?
Nooooo ! Love her ! She's nice, like him.
Same bday date as me some more,
that's just so so awesome ! cuz i finally found ONE !
Anywayyyyyyys,
they're both nice to me,
but both WERE strangers to me? who cares.
the thing is, they're both madly in love with each other.
And i came in and ruined it? SO NOT MY INTENTION, LAH !
if i knew it earlier, i would had never interfered !
interfering, is just sooooo not darshika.
Dah lah both were strangers to me, now turned close frens.
and and dah lah, they're so far from me and,
aku budak kl woi =x AIYOK.

i won't interfere.
i just want to help.
how i wish i could just write their names here.
better just stick with their initials.

N & S !! please get back together.
u know ur feelings for each other very well.
So, just forget the past !! =D !!
I love you, BOTH very much.
I have to say, knowing the two of you,
is of course the sweetesttt thing of my life.



praying hard.
(=

sometimes,

who knew that the worst things in life
could be happening right there, beside you?
all the time, and you couldn't realise it?
now...
finally, you n0ticed it, but it's too late !
you're trapped in those lies and cant get out,
when you scream your lungs off,
there isnt anyone who hears you, cuz who cares?
when you care for them, they dont see it?
and when they care for you, you dont see it?

what's this?
L-I-F-E?
i hope not !

i tried new things, new friends, new people.
trying to ERASE my horrible yet sweet past.
but i cant, i just cant ! it was tooooo sweeeet ! ]:
although the present is rather sweet,
they aren't as sweet as you.
i know i stil want my past dreams to come true.
every single challenge i went through,
i got over em' with pride, and now i know
there's only one THING that makes me happy.
the ONE, and only. no one else is able
to replace you, the precious thing.
you're just, irreplaceable.

i hope for a change,
i hope for no regrets,
i want to start all over again.
care to join me?

[:

sorry, for all my mistakes.
forget the past, please ! ]:
and, just giv me another chance.

my life, totally out of place right now.
the more i think about next year,
the more sad-er i become ]:

s0bs.

dad ! it's your day !

dad's birthday today.

wyeeeeee (:

happyyy birthdayyyy !

always be happy.

wish you good health,

good wealth,

and long life !

loveee ♥

ur daughter.

After i came back from school today,

i had my lunch and went straight

to bed, Aw, im such a cute piggy -.-

i slept for err, almost 4hours !

WOW. i was really sleepy ei.

sis tried to wake me up but failed,

i tried to get off my bed to

take my shower, too but

failed, too? ironic huh?

wanna know what was bugging me?

I had like 'chemical reactions' on my mind.

what the hell kan? xD.

chemis made me go crazy.

i don't give a damn.

i realised im suddenly surr0unded
by some of the most exceptionally-annoying-people O_o
yeap, you know,
those utterly irritating, evil stares !
and, those even-more-exasperating judgements !
Okay, maybe i'm just thinking too much,
or just obsessed with myself but what the hell !
I'm not the only one who thinks so, that proves
my feelings arent wrong. yea, you heard me!


I just don't get it.
Why the hell do you care about me?
What i do..
How i am..
Quit judging me and the people around me, jerk !
You think you're perfect is it ? Wake Up ladyy !
YOU ARE NOT ! ugh .


The stares around me is totally
killing my nerves, i hate it !
Yes, i hate stares ! SO STOP IT !
Though, i do wanna know what's
on your minds ! Criticising me, perhaps?
Ughhhh~ im thinking too much, again !
i hate this ! it's because of you guys,
now im like this ! wth !
conclusion : you guys make me sick !
and, yea, i don't give a damn about it !


Shit lahhhh !
Exams' coming and basketball trainings again on tuesday?
MY BRAIN's Sooooo GONNA BURST !
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh dearrrrr ~
Im so dead lah )= ish2.
takot exam weyyhhhhhhh. someone help me, please !


im missing you, soooooooo !

continue or NOT ?
tell me !!

TOOOOOOOOOT ~! RomanticFriday? WTF~!

toooooooot ~ as in,
the combination of ALL the bad words you can think of.
oh gosh. whats going on with me? ( ps, im still a gd girl )
Buuuuuuuut, why's evrything happening so sudden?
and on the same day?
from the same place?
almost at the same time?
OhMyGosh ! Someone, please tel me why
this's happening. is it like a TEST for me?
Orrr, a curse on me? LOL ` it's sick !
though,
This time, im so gonna think about
it over and over and over and over again.
no more insanities.

NeedSomeone.

miss ky lah !
goshhhhhhhhhhhhh D: