The silent catalyst.

More often than not, we take things for granted and it's a habit we can't get rid of easily. It is true. I mean, can you blame us for that? At the end of the day, we were given what we were given and what extent of appreciation would suffice, right?

I'm blessed with all that I have and I will always be grateful of that, but there are days when I don't live up to the standard; times when I look past the beauty of it all. When I simply live life. How often do we sit down and ponder upon ourselves?

How often do we look at ourselves; our hands, our legs, our eyes, our ears, our nose, and imagine what would life be like if we hadn't had what we already have? Would we have given in and remain defeated? Or, would we have risen upon all the challenges?

Most of us look at ourselves in the mirror whilst adjusting our hair and say exasperatingly, "Nooo, today is not a good hair day." Some of us will smile and say, "I look fairly good today." But has anyone said "I'm glad I can see myself in the mirror."? HAS ANYONE ACTUALLY SAID THAT? Because I know I have not, and in certain ways, I'm sad I haven't actually said that. What am I waiting for? It is often quoted, "we always appreciate what's there until it's gone." Does that mean I'm waiting till the day I lose my sight before I actually do appreciate it? HELL NO! :(

"Read this slide and tell me...", the lecturer commands the class, pointing at the projected slide on the screen. Every other student would instantly divert their focus to the board, everyone but one girl, she would continue to stare blankly at her laptop, lost. (And yes, the fact that she could use a laptop, despite being unsighted, impresses me very much)

When a lecturer asks the class a question and you are unsure of the answer, you know you'd go with the majority answer when the other students raise their hands to what they perceive is the correct answer.
A - you see 3 students raising their hands
and you decide, okay, maybe not.
B - you see only 1 student raising his hand
and you believe there's a slim chance that B is the correct answer
C - you see more than half of the class raising their hands
and so you raise yours too, sighing with relief, "Phew, I got away with it."

But what about her? What would she do if she was stuck in your position, not knowing the answer. How would she know what the majority is? How would she get away from the trouble of being called for getting the wrong answer?

When the lecturer is reciting something and suddenly writes an important note down on the whiteboard, it is only normal for us students to automatically jot it down as we see the lecturer writing it. But what about the unsighted ones? How do they know what is going on? They wouldn't even know if something is being written on the board. They may even miss out on an important point to note. Does that really become a disadvantage? Do they deserve that disadvantage? Of course not.

In a huge class with many students, we don't always get the chance to sit in front, where many are of the opinion that it is better because paying attention during lectures becomes easier. But in the end, does it really boil down to where you sit in class to pay attention in class? Once, a few friends and I entered class late and ended up sitting at the last few rows in class. Yes, it was difficult to see what the lecturer was writing on the board, but that was only minor as the lecturer rarely wrote on the board. Suddenly, one of the students broke out, "Ah, I give up! I can't see anything! I don't even understand what is going on! I'm not going to pay attention already." And she went on chit chatting in class. Disrupting the other students who were TRYING to pay attention. Yes, of course that includes me, because I didn't see why the position we're sitting in class should affect us.

As a student, I'm surrounded with many, MANY books and these are not books I could evade from. Especially not during the assignments season. There will be books everywhere, from my table to the floor, to my bed, to the ironing board. EVERYWHERE. Because research needs to be done from these books. And as it is, we struggle and we do complain. A LOT. Yes, without a doubt, it is difficult. But, how can referencing and research be done for one without sight? How can comparisons between theories and opinions of authors be made? It is not impossible (This I know because she passed her assignments with really good results), but the effort that needs to be put in. Doubled, even tripled.

Finals came, and she bagged an A, which is not an easy achievement, I must say!
(Even I didn't manage to get an A)

"Of course, studying is all that she does. She doesn't have anything else to worry about."

I was disgusted upon hearing this comment when I told someone about her achievement. As if it wasn't already bad, that remark actually came from a smart person. I was taken aback by the really poor mentality of course, I had so much going on in my head at that moment, so much to confront but I remained silent. Baffled. SPEECHLESS. I honestly would have punched that person in the face so hard. Regretting that I didn't.

I know for a fact that that person wasn't the only one with such a disgraceful mentality. So, here's a shout out to you people with the similar mentality:

SHE DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING ELSE TO WORRY ABOUT, YOU SAY?! Why of course, unlike you, she doesn't have 11 children and four wives to worry about, am I right? Oh, what a pity. HOW DO YOU POSSIBLY SAY SUCH A THING? It wasn't even her choice to lose her eyesight. She didn't choose to live like this. But look where she is today, just like you, she chose to read Law. She travels all the way from Klang to class every single day. WOULD YOU HAVE DONE THE SAME? With your mentality, I highly doubt you would have. So, quit being an ass and put a good head on that shoulder!

Jessy.
She was born like most of us. Without a disability. 
She had a glimpse of the world,
but her sight was robbed away from her due to an illness.
It wasn't of her choice to lose her sight.
But look where she is today, not broken. Not defeated.
Through strength, belief and heaps of determination,
She is an inspiration today. To many. To me.
She most certainly is someone I look up to, she keeps me going.
It is because of her that I believe 'everything will be alright.'
She's my motivator to stay awake in class, to pay attention in class. ;)

I was inspired. Of course I was. I have always been. And I will continue to be inspired by her.

The reason why I suddenly decided to blog about Jessy only now, despite being her classmate for the past few months, is because of this one incident which happened in class recently when the lecturer said:

"There was a cute boy, you know, yummy! One of my students. He was my motivator to come to class. You know, the one or two distinctive individuals to keep us going. Reason for survival. You have the same concept, right? Of course, if you come to class for someone, you come to see someone, to smell someone. (The lecturer's funny like that) If you say you come to class to study ah, that's sad you know."

So yes, that got me thinking if I had that motivator for me to go to class. And I surely do.
Jessy, this one's for you :)
Thank you. :')
p/s: Not that I'm motivated to go to class to smell you lah, haha!

But of course, please, I'm not all that innocent alright. There's a cute boy who motivates me to go to college too, okay ;) HAHA.

Okay, good night, thank you for reading! :P

Inspired;

Jessy

Christine Ha,

winner of Masterchef US Season 3

Scribbles;

We're undefeated!

Oh, cute boy ;)

x