The silent catalyst.

More often than not, we take things for granted and it's a habit we can't get rid of easily. It is true. I mean, can you blame us for that? At the end of the day, we were given what we were given and what extent of appreciation would suffice, right?

I'm blessed with all that I have and I will always be grateful of that, but there are days when I don't live up to the standard; times when I look past the beauty of it all. When I simply live life. How often do we sit down and ponder upon ourselves?

How often do we look at ourselves; our hands, our legs, our eyes, our ears, our nose, and imagine what would life be like if we hadn't had what we already have? Would we have given in and remain defeated? Or, would we have risen upon all the challenges?

Most of us look at ourselves in the mirror whilst adjusting our hair and say exasperatingly, "Nooo, today is not a good hair day." Some of us will smile and say, "I look fairly good today." But has anyone said "I'm glad I can see myself in the mirror."? HAS ANYONE ACTUALLY SAID THAT? Because I know I have not, and in certain ways, I'm sad I haven't actually said that. What am I waiting for? It is often quoted, "we always appreciate what's there until it's gone." Does that mean I'm waiting till the day I lose my sight before I actually do appreciate it? HELL NO! :(

"Read this slide and tell me...", the lecturer commands the class, pointing at the projected slide on the screen. Every other student would instantly divert their focus to the board, everyone but one girl, she would continue to stare blankly at her laptop, lost. (And yes, the fact that she could use a laptop, despite being unsighted, impresses me very much)

When a lecturer asks the class a question and you are unsure of the answer, you know you'd go with the majority answer when the other students raise their hands to what they perceive is the correct answer.
A - you see 3 students raising their hands
and you decide, okay, maybe not.
B - you see only 1 student raising his hand
and you believe there's a slim chance that B is the correct answer
C - you see more than half of the class raising their hands
and so you raise yours too, sighing with relief, "Phew, I got away with it."

But what about her? What would she do if she was stuck in your position, not knowing the answer. How would she know what the majority is? How would she get away from the trouble of being called for getting the wrong answer?

When the lecturer is reciting something and suddenly writes an important note down on the whiteboard, it is only normal for us students to automatically jot it down as we see the lecturer writing it. But what about the unsighted ones? How do they know what is going on? They wouldn't even know if something is being written on the board. They may even miss out on an important point to note. Does that really become a disadvantage? Do they deserve that disadvantage? Of course not.

In a huge class with many students, we don't always get the chance to sit in front, where many are of the opinion that it is better because paying attention during lectures becomes easier. But in the end, does it really boil down to where you sit in class to pay attention in class? Once, a few friends and I entered class late and ended up sitting at the last few rows in class. Yes, it was difficult to see what the lecturer was writing on the board, but that was only minor as the lecturer rarely wrote on the board. Suddenly, one of the students broke out, "Ah, I give up! I can't see anything! I don't even understand what is going on! I'm not going to pay attention already." And she went on chit chatting in class. Disrupting the other students who were TRYING to pay attention. Yes, of course that includes me, because I didn't see why the position we're sitting in class should affect us.

As a student, I'm surrounded with many, MANY books and these are not books I could evade from. Especially not during the assignments season. There will be books everywhere, from my table to the floor, to my bed, to the ironing board. EVERYWHERE. Because research needs to be done from these books. And as it is, we struggle and we do complain. A LOT. Yes, without a doubt, it is difficult. But, how can referencing and research be done for one without sight? How can comparisons between theories and opinions of authors be made? It is not impossible (This I know because she passed her assignments with really good results), but the effort that needs to be put in. Doubled, even tripled.

Finals came, and she bagged an A, which is not an easy achievement, I must say!
(Even I didn't manage to get an A)

"Of course, studying is all that she does. She doesn't have anything else to worry about."

I was disgusted upon hearing this comment when I told someone about her achievement. As if it wasn't already bad, that remark actually came from a smart person. I was taken aback by the really poor mentality of course, I had so much going on in my head at that moment, so much to confront but I remained silent. Baffled. SPEECHLESS. I honestly would have punched that person in the face so hard. Regretting that I didn't.

I know for a fact that that person wasn't the only one with such a disgraceful mentality. So, here's a shout out to you people with the similar mentality:

SHE DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING ELSE TO WORRY ABOUT, YOU SAY?! Why of course, unlike you, she doesn't have 11 children and four wives to worry about, am I right? Oh, what a pity. HOW DO YOU POSSIBLY SAY SUCH A THING? It wasn't even her choice to lose her eyesight. She didn't choose to live like this. But look where she is today, just like you, she chose to read Law. She travels all the way from Klang to class every single day. WOULD YOU HAVE DONE THE SAME? With your mentality, I highly doubt you would have. So, quit being an ass and put a good head on that shoulder!

Jessy.
She was born like most of us. Without a disability. 
She had a glimpse of the world,
but her sight was robbed away from her due to an illness.
It wasn't of her choice to lose her sight.
But look where she is today, not broken. Not defeated.
Through strength, belief and heaps of determination,
She is an inspiration today. To many. To me.
She most certainly is someone I look up to, she keeps me going.
It is because of her that I believe 'everything will be alright.'
She's my motivator to stay awake in class, to pay attention in class. ;)

I was inspired. Of course I was. I have always been. And I will continue to be inspired by her.

The reason why I suddenly decided to blog about Jessy only now, despite being her classmate for the past few months, is because of this one incident which happened in class recently when the lecturer said:

"There was a cute boy, you know, yummy! One of my students. He was my motivator to come to class. You know, the one or two distinctive individuals to keep us going. Reason for survival. You have the same concept, right? Of course, if you come to class for someone, you come to see someone, to smell someone. (The lecturer's funny like that) If you say you come to class to study ah, that's sad you know."

So yes, that got me thinking if I had that motivator for me to go to class. And I surely do.
Jessy, this one's for you :)
Thank you. :')
p/s: Not that I'm motivated to go to class to smell you lah, haha!

But of course, please, I'm not all that innocent alright. There's a cute boy who motivates me to go to college too, okay ;) HAHA.

Okay, good night, thank you for reading! :P

Inspired;

Jessy

Christine Ha,

winner of Masterchef US Season 3

Scribbles;

We're undefeated!

Oh, cute boy ;)

x

Perhaps, a brighter perspective.

I've officially alienated myself. Somehow, it feels as if I'm right here, living in my little bubble again. That was how I used to be. Shy and quiet. Afraid of judgements and a self-esteem so low that even saying hello to a person makes me pee in my pants. Okay, maybe not that drastic. But yes, that is how I was. A long, long time ago. A shy little girl. Keyword: LITTLE.

I've then grown into a much more confident person. Friendly, cheerful, loud and crazy! I never wanted to go back to being the shy-and-quiet person I was. I didn't want to clam up in my shell again.

Life. Life's a funny thing. Pretty much every(single)thing has to be done in moderation. Say, you should appreciate every thing and person in your life, but at the same time, you shouldn't get too attached to them. Otherwise, once you're diverted from all the things and people you love, it's going to be tough. Really, really tough. But what options are we left with? :( Life is so short, and we can never know what to expect of tomorrow.

Sometimes, I think I should stop thinking too much. STARTING... now! ;)

Currently. I have the social life of a slug. Reverted to the anti-social version of me. It sucks. But I have to. I need this. I just hope this isn't permanent.

I shall abstain from this melancholy, before it's too late.

Just a warning sign. If I've not been talking much to you, or I've been mean to you, or I've not been my usual self to you, I AM NOT SORRY ABOUT IT. Yes, you read it right the first time.

Note-to-self;

I SHOULD be more cheerful.

I NEED TO smile more.

I HAVE TO laugh more.

I OUGHT TO be more confident.

I MUST be determined.

I MUST be more optimistic.

I MUST have faith.

I MUST BELIEVE in myself again.

x

Eight months condensed into one day.

I've left my blogger on idle for the last eight months. Been really, really lazy to blog. Perhaps because blogger can be really annoying. So annoying that I've actually lost my super-long-and-took-me-days-to-complete post. Don't ask me how and why. Sigh. Nevertheless, I'm back! Aside from being absolutely lifeless at home during this break, I suddenly felt like reminiscing.

So, let's begin!

But before that,

WARNING: This is going to be a LOOOOONG post.

There'll be several pictures.

To have a good look at it, do click on it for a zoomed-in picture :)

Hellooooooooooooooooo ;)

Well, I missed you :D

Okay, so where do I begin? Ah, yes!

After my AS Levels exams last year, to kickstart my holidays, I met up with the two darlings, Maggie & Chee Enn. It kind of sucks to meet up with them only once in a while when we used to meet EVERY.SINGLE.DAY back in high school. Drastic changes. Oh well, the only option I'm left with is to adapt to the changes despite how difficult it is.

November, 11th. 2011.

Proper date with the two darlings.

I love you both oh so, very much :)

Hope you liked the gift I made.

After that, I went off straight to England for my sister's graduation. But that wasn't all, we went to France as well as Sri Lanka. For those of you who have actually read my blog before, you would know that I did post a blog post about the trip. Yes, I did. And, as mentioned before, I ACTUALLY LOST IT?! gdfhgkdfhfosdfpkgpdhpdfh! (do excuse me for the profanities used, heee) And again, don't ask me how and why.

Anyway, after I came back from the-best-trip-so-far,

Kyle Patrick (he's the lead singer from The Click Five, to those of you who're scratching heads wondering who is he, haha) came down to Fahrenheit88, KL for Christmas :)

So, I went with the sis, Eunice, David and also Ka Ye.

There were gifts sharing for orphans, that is the spirit of Christmas, right?

Well, Kyle Patrick helped to give out the gifts which were contributed by the public in conjunction with the FlyFM Wishing Tree, for the children of Rumah Sayangan, Sanctuary Care Centre, Precious Children Home and Rainbow Home.

As usual, there were a lot of singing along and SCREAMING (psst, I'm referring to Eunice, heh). But we definitely had a great time there.

To top it all of, we actually got a chance to take a picture together with Kyle Patrick.

I know I made you jealous there :D

December, 24th. 2011.

Saw, heard, met, hugged Kyle Patrick.

Ohya! Happy belated New Year, bloggie :P

Okay, so let's fast-forward to my birthday!

Just like every other year, I celebrate my birthday with my dear daddy, mommy and sis :D Well, 2011 was an exception though, 'cause my sis was in UK. So yeah, it was definitely thrilling to have her back. ;)

March, 8th. 2012.

My 19th Birthday with the family.

Thank you & I love you, my dear family.

OK. So, apparently, there was a twist to the story! I had no class on that day, so I stayed home and studied (Sad. I know.) As I was revising in my study room, the house phone rang. I answered the call using the phone upstairs, and mom answered the call using the phone downstairs.

Me: Hello?

unknown: *noisy*

Then, I put down the phone and let my mom take the call.

Mom: Hello? Who's this?

unknown: ... (obviously, I didn't know who was it and what he/she said)

Mom shouted, "Darshika! Your friend!"

So, I went to the phone again.

And suddenly, mom (panicking) shouted,

"No No No, don't answer the phone!"

And, I was like WHAAAT? What's wrong with mommy?

Oh well. Thinking that it was mom's friend on the phone, I went back to study.

After half an hour or so, I suddenly saw Chee Enn outside my study room. With Maggie behind her alongside with my mom and sis. For a second there, I really thought I studied so much that I started to hallucinate. Fortunately, I wasn't hallucinating. ;)

IT WAS REALLY THEM! :D

Really didn't think that they've come up with such a plan to surprise me.

AAAAAND then, it all made sense. IT WAS THEM ON THE PHONE. Hahah :)

They actually called my dad first, who was at work. So cute of them.

March, 8th. 2012.

Surprise birthday visit by the two darlings.

They showed me that distance is not an excuse.

The next day, I had class. And so it was back to reality. Twenty-hours went by like it was just a second. HOWEVER. I noticed that the buddies were being exceptionally WEIRD. Had no clue what were they up to. For once, I actually felt like I was left out? Sigh :(

After class, I saw Parveen, Sara, Sathya and also Vanessa. Which was unusual because they had no class that day. And, the weirdness perpetuated. Until they said they came to study in the library. That explains why. :)

AND THEN, they decided to go to the rooftop, again, in a super weird manner. Just when I thought everything was back to normal, THE WEIRDNESS RESUMED. Then, I realised something was up. The minute I saw a birthday cake ;)

They celebrated my birthday and also Jai's together.

(His birthday was three days before mine.)

Another surprise! :') This time from the collegemates :')

It definitely made my day 'cause I've known this bunch of friends for just a year or so and it seems as if we've all been friends since we were kids. I've thanked them. And I will thank them again.

THANK YOU,

Nana,

Sangi,

Sureen,

Parveen,

Daven,

Sara,

David,

Danu,

Vanessa,

Sugar, and also

Sathya.

That wasn't all though. Went to meet up with Hevinneish, Aleisha & Anash after that. It was really nice seeing them after a very, very long time :')

March, 9th. 2012.

Surprise birthday party with the collegemates.

Cheers to more years in our friendship.

Mom suddenly decided to have Maggie and Chee Enn for dinner with us. So, it was pretty much like a birthday encore for me. We brought them to a Chinese Restaurant in Royal Selangor Club. Had an amazing night with the loved ones. Filled with lots of joy and laughter. Priceless, I'd say.

March, 10th. 2012.

Birthday Encore with the loved ones.

The irreplaceable ones. :')

And, my birthday hasn't ended just yet. HAHAH. On the 17th, when I was in class, Eunice suddenly texted me and she asked (more like ordered, haha) me to go to the locker outside the gym to get something. I supposed she left something. So, after class, I went there straight. There was a cute little pink Diva plastic in the locker. I checked to see what it was to ensure that her things were still there, until I saw a supercute little bracelet in it with a note saying:

'Darshika.

Happy Birthday, sayang!

Love you heaps,

Eunice.'

Tell me you won't be super aww-fied if you received something of such. I wanted so much to run to her and give her a big, big hug. But, she wasn't there so yeah, had to put the hug on hold. Love her so, so much :')

Fast-forward to April.

Sinhalese New Year!

The one event I look forward to, every year! Why? Well, it is a day of togetherness with your loved ones, but clearly that's not all. It's because there's lots and, lots of homemade cookies! Not just any homemade cookies. But homemade cookies made with lotsoflove from my supermommy! They're the best! No kidding.

April, 14th. 2012.

Round One.

Dinner party with the relatives and also the two darlings.

We're awesome that way. ;)

And round two was with the collegemates. So that they could berbonding with my family ;)

For the first time. Haha.

Kind of sad 'cause some of them couldn't make it though.

Like, Woo, Beatrice, Pui Yee, Greg, Hevinneish, Aleisha and also Anash.

Maybe, next year? :D

April, 16th. 2012.

Round Two.

Dinner party with the collegemates & also, Eunice.

Okay, so it has become a tradition (for ze gang) that we celebrate every one's birthday. Way before my birthday, we even celebrated Parveen's and also Daven's. But sadly, there weren't much pictures taken. NO PICTURE OF ME WITH THE BIRTHDAY BOYS, specifically. So yeah, couldn't blog much about it. (Apologies, Parveen & Daven!)

Nana & Vanessa's birthday!

On the same month but different day.

Again, not many pictures, but I did get to take pictures with both the birthday girls.

I-can't-remember-which-date-we-celebrated-their-birthdays-though. (oops!)

April, 30th. 2012. (I THINK)

Nana & Vanessa's Birthday

And then, I had my A2 Levels exams!

Let's put this in one word.

WORRIED.

But you can never say no to having fun, right? So after the last paper, we went to Midvalley.

We wanted to make the best out of it 'cause it could actually be our last hang out together. It was incomplete though because Sara & Vanessa couldn't make it. :(

But we had a great time. Bowling.

Still, it would have been better if Sara & Vanessa were with us.

June, 15th. 2012.

Freedom.

Bowling with the collegemates.

Father's Day!

Obviously Mother's Day came first. But then again, ironically, we didn't take any pictures :( Treated mommy for dinner (with daddy's money, HEH) at a Thailand restaurant in Midvalley.

Treated daddy for lunch (again, with daddy's money, errrr, haha) at TGI Fridays.

June, 17th. 2012.

Superdaddy's day!

Love them more than anything else in this world.

Now that I'm having my holidays. After days of a-lot-of-sleeping-to-compensate-for-my-lack-of-sleep, I've decided to get a part-time job! But sadly, the working hours isn't as flexible as I thought it would be. So much for wanting to prevent a lifeless holiday. :( Plan failed.

But of course, I DO NOT WANT TO ROT AT HOME. Finished two good novels, finally, without any distractions. And, it's about time I met up with my super-long-time-no-see-best-friends. Hahah :)

Started off with Chee Enn.

She slept over at my place. For the first time. Hahah ;)

Maggie was so jealous though. I felt bad. But I wasn't the one who planned the sleepover.

Sorry, Maggie :(

And then, I met up with the two best friends from high school slash tuition partners.

Era & Rajes. Era's back from Russia for holidays. It was so, so nice to see her after almost a year. And, I finally got to see Rajes after 2 long years :(

We went to relive our Form5 days. At, Pudu, of course. It was the cutest plan ever!

Visited the awesomest tuition teachers in Martin. Mr Umaas, Mr Kung, Mr Ganesan, Anwar, & also Geeta. It was so nice to know that they still remembered us even after two years.

"Tiga sekawan", they said.

Snapped pictures with the teachers, b-b-but sadly, of all teachers, Anwar left before we could get a picture with him. *cries* But, LOOKING AT THE BRIGHT SIDE, luckily we got to talk to him for a while though. Otherwise, I'd be cursing now. Jokes :P

Also met up with Harrindran at Times Square :)

June, 29th. 2012.

[ Sorry for the inconvenience caused but the pictures are still under construction]

Next, I met up with the best-friend-since-I-was-nine, Kar Yan.

Finally met up with her after 2 very long years. Glad that we didn't change much. It was really nice catching up with her after such a long time. Love you loads! ;)

July, 2nd. 2012.

Met up with Kar Yan

Best friends for life, okay? :)

And then, finally a proper date with both Maggie & Chee Enn. We were up for a spontaneous plan. But plan failed. Lesson learnt, when you have a bunch of indecisive friends, and you're ALSO indecisive, DO NOT GO FOR A SPONTANEOUS OUTING. Hahah ;)

But then again, we know how to enjoy ourselves. Went to KLCC.

And had lunch at Charlie Brown's Cafe. It's like the super-cutest-cafe-ever! With the most expensive menu :( Sigh.

July, 6th. 2012.

The long-waited proper date with the two darlings

We had our date just only a couple of hours ago.

And honestly, I'm already missing them oh so much :( Sigh.

I have learnt that goodbyes will ALWAYS HURT. Pictures never replace having been there. Memories, good or bad, will bring tears. And, words can never replace those feelings.

Happy holidays! :D

Freshers Night.

22nd September 2011.

Freshers Night at college ;)

Wasn't expecting to attend the event, but i did!

Anyways, it turned out to be, NOT BAD AT ALL.

Would have been a lot better if I informed my mum before going.

Stupiak darshika, you better learn a lesson ;D

And I should have stayed back a little longer.

Because SADLY, i missed the performance from my college's principal!

He sings good! And, come on, which one of you has your college's principal

singing at parties? :P

So, it was practically about this Law Society at college.

The ice-breaking was rather, awkward. HAHA ;)

But when the performance started, I thought it was good.

Yes, that made me stay even longer.

I wasn't like most of them who attended the event,

JUST FOR THE FREE FOOD! (no offence)

But yeah, the food looked good, two thumbs up :)

Oh, one thing i learnt was that,

Justin Bieber's Baby is a lot better sung in a much slower tempo.

That William guy from college who's currently doing his Degree,

ohhhh, he sang well. Nana and I were literally drooling ;)

Lovely bunch of collegemates ;)

Nana & Me!

My long lost TWIN, i'd say.

Marilyn, the photographer of the night ;)

And, *drumrolls*

Meet DAVID!

David Yee Xiao Zhe :)

The best friend.

AKA the RETARDED SEAL!

Baby i love you, i never want to let you go.

The more i think about,

the more i want to let you know that everything you do,

is super fcking cute. And i can't stand it. ;)

All grown up.

Hello, bloggie! ;)

What? You missed me? Aw, you know i missed you too! LOL. :)

Anyway, really has been a (long) while since i last blogged. WHOOPS. But, I'm back! *loudcheer*

I just realised that I've not blogged a single thing about my college life.

Here goes,

say hello to the Cambridge A-levels student of Brickfields Asia College '11,

Darshika de Silva ♥ (that's me, ya know)

Brickfields Asia College :D

My new second home.

Didn't think that I'd end up in the BEST LAW SCHOOL in Malaysia.

Most certainly not the one that my sister was in.

(speaking of which, MY SISTER IS FINALLY BACK FROM THE UK)

However, I'm not really sure what driven me into this course. Interest? Maybe.

Whatever it is, i'm lovin' it. (despite the stress)

I don't regret my choice. Not at all. Law & Economics. Two very, very new subjects for me.

Come on, I used to be a science-freak. But, I REALLY DON'T REGRET.

However, sometimes, i do regret one thing, and that is not joining this course earlier.

Why? I could have been in the same intake as my dearie, Eunice Gan. (ohhh well...)

Am glad that I get to see her more often now. Love you, dear ;)

Oh, did i mention I'm in the same college as my cousin, Dilhany? Ahhh, pure awesomeness :)

Not to forget, Ryan Lim Ewe Jin from my primary school (wooooots) and,

Chan Mun Yew from my tuition :) and also, Sharmila from highschool! ;)

They say, college is fun. I came to know that it is an undeniable fact, but

only if you have the right friends to share it with you :)

I couldn't explain in words how grateful am i to have met such awesome

friends at college. But, nothing's perfect! I did get exposed to the Real World.

Afraid. Yes, sometimes. Oh, but don't you forget, imma superduperwoman! Jokes.

Okay, i shall now let the pictures do some talking ;)

Meet, ze gang :D

The ones i'm always with :)

Love them heaps!

You can see just by the looks on our faces,

how much fun we have when we're together.

Because, we're just perfect that way.

That's Nana! ;) My emo partner.

*jokes*

Sangeetha! AKA sangi mangi the funky monkey :)

Vanessa ;)

Suganneya! Sugar, spice and everything nice.

Danusha! The first BAC friend :)

Parveen! My personal assistant. Nyahaha ;)

&, Jai! ;)

There're many others too. I shall just name them. Oh, do hold your breath!

It's gonna be a looooooooooooong list ;D *exaggerating*

Saravanan ; Daven ; Mathan ; Pacat ; David ; Cheryl ; Esther ; Resh ; Ivan Lee

&, some from the January Intake

Beatrice ; Pui Yee ; Julian ; Hadley ; Sureen ; Jude

-do forgive if i missed out your name-

A master piece made by Manja (she transferred to Sunway)

I miss you, Manja :')

Speaking only about college has made me miss High School life even more.
The memories made, will always be cherished.

A little shout out to them friends from PESS,

Mei Kee & Chee Enn - We so gotta date more often :')

Era & Rajes - It's been 8 long months since we last met. I miss you both :'(

5 Intanians - REUNION! (laughs) Don't look at me! Okay, fine! Yes, I'm still working on it.

Yuss, Farah, Nisha - You know i miss you :')

Vanessa & Jia Yi - What? After Justin Bieber, you guys don't wanna see me already ah? Jokes.

Anyway, that's pretty much all i could say. AS Level exam in October.

Economics, you so gotta be nice to me ;)

Law, imma rape you :D

Best wishes to all. There's always ups and downs in life, especially in college.

Just bare in mind that when someone pushes you down, be strong and stand up!

Show them what you're made of ;)

p/s : enjoy the blog songs :D